Grace, love, healing, and freedom

One day last week it was pretty late and I was lying in my bed still on my way to sleep, but ruminating on things in my mind, which is fairly normal for me throughout my day but only need to relax :), but I was struggling, so I asked God to speak to me through His Word, and truly kind of desperately too with a lot of forced faith from feelings, and He always graces me when I am that real and need comfort. So I came to Isaiah 30:18, and God speaks to me a lot in pictures so right away when I laid eyes on the passage there was a picture of my spiritual father kissing my cheek like He has done sometimes, and I always get a Father's love and pride when He does that, so God was communicating like that was what He was doing to me, and while it happened I felt an intense love and giddiness from God too, so it made me cry like His love and goodness usually does :). The whole passage was about God being gracious, and telling His people, in Zion I think, 'You shall weep no more', and 'He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry, when He hears it, He will answer you,and though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity..' and also heard the words, 'He will be gracious', 'favor', and 'He will heal you', and at the end of the passage it says 'He binds up the bruise of His people, and heals the stroke of their wound.' So it was very wonderful because I'd been crying and pondering about how he thinks of me when I do and of my pain, and He really showed me He loves me so much through it, hears all my cries and answers me with His love and wants me to be in His way. And I had a dream a few months ago about Him saying He wants to heal me, without the things the mental health meds were doing to me, and to gain more of Him rather than be on drugs that don't solve the real issues, but it was more simple and cool in the dream cuz He was like a person standing in front of me but glorious and I didn't see His face, and it was just a question and a reply, so yep, God wants to dry our tears with His love and freedom. I hope this doesn't freak anyone out in any way who may not know God a lot yet, cuz I've felt that sometimes God speaking to me, like clear or creative or a lot, but I think God has to be a freak sometimes, because He wants or needs to pursue us a lot, because we aren't totally believing what we know and/or want to believe, and He's so mad in love :) God bless!

-CP